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97_98_articles/Tribun20.TXT
"Happy Father's Day!" "To my very special mother this Mother's Day." Everybody makes a big deal about Mother's Day and Father's Day. And there's good reason for it. Of course, what about us kids? Do sons or daughters have a day to their own? I'm going to go ask my calendar...... Well, it didn't reply to me when I asked it if they do have their own day, but I looked and it sure didn't seem like it.
Now wait a minute! I'm sure a thousand of you, at the very least, are reading this right now and saying, "Shut up kid! Kids get to stay at home all summer, they get their parents to provide for them...They don't need a day of their own!" Well, before you put up a big stink and start sending dozens of letters to the Tribune, I'm here to tell you that I'm not going to use a vulgar word in my article to name a bar. In fact, I'm not going to use any vulgar words at all, and I'm not going to refer to bars anymore. That should calm at least a few people down.
Now then, as I was saying, I'm going to tell all you negative thinkers why I think sons and daughters, yes, separately, should have a day to their title. First of all, if it wasn't for us (the kids) , you adults would not be mothers and fathers, would you? You'd just be a bunch of...ummm...people who weren't moving the human race forward. You'd be sitting at home, enjoying yourself, watching Keeping Up Appearances on PBS, not having to change a stinky baby's diaper every hour...That maybe doesn't seem so bad now, does it? No, forget I said that. If we see a big decline in the birth rate in Bismarck, I'll guess that a lot of people read my articles!
Anyway, a second reason for me to get a day for sons and daughters is because we have a pretty big job to do as well! We have to get up five out of seven days, go to school, lug ourselves around doing math problems that some of us don't understand, and then have to drag ourselves back home to clean our room, vacuum the steps, and write silly little articles for The Bismarck Tribune. If that doesn't sound like your typical day, I'd be shocked!
Another reason that sons and daughters should get a day to each gender of youth is because we've never had anything like that. Sure, you could count the short lived Children's Day. What? You mean you never heard of it? I'm not surprised. It was a special day–yeah, right–that was held in August or September every year for, get this, about three whole years! Oh boy! This was the most sorry excuse for a holiday because it was held during the summer so kids couldn't get a day off, and almost no media coverage at all meant that this holiday would go down in flames quickly.
In 1994 or 1995 the holiday, which apparently was an official holiday as said by the government (nobody listens to them anymore it seems, so that's probably why it wasn't really celebrated that much) , was killed in the Congress or some other place in Washington DC. The day that it was held on was then replaced by a day to honor midgets over six feet tall, women who drink 24 beers while watching three football games, and people who can whistle while drinking water. No, it's actually an empty day right now, I think.
All right, I was starting to ramble on there for a little while. I'm better now. Take a deep breath...huuhhhh...ahhhhhhh. There. Now, there's one more problem I'd like to address while I'm on the subject of holidays of the year–why don't senior citizens have a special day? They may have some barely recognized day of the year, but what they need is a federal holiday so they can get the respect that they deserve! Look at all that our seniors have been through: The great depression, World War II, the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, the Vietnam War. These people deserve their day too! Just as much, though probably more, than sons and daughters!
So, I propose to everyone reading this article...Egad! Patrick Duffy just put on an apron! Whoops, sorry. My mom was watching a TV show. Anyway, though it sounds far off, let's hope that someday us kids and those good ol' senior citizens will have a day to their own. Until then, let's kick back and hope Nick at Nite starts showing reruns of the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour.
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Karl
Becker, the author of all these articles, uses New
Tricks for his writings.
Try it out now! |
