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97_98_articles/Tribun16.TXT Low fat! No fat! Lite! Tripe! Bite! Fat free! No cholesterol! I saw all of these phrases–almost–when I went to the supermarket the other day. Why do they put these things on food packages? Do they think it really helps them sell more food? Well, yes, it probably does. But, I’m gonna help you look through the hype and see the real tripe. For those of you who don’t know what that is, be happy you don’t. And for those of you whose breakfastes I’ve ruined, I’m sorry and apologize from the bottom of my heart. Now, back to the article.
Whenever you see the word fat on the front of a box of anything, no matter what the product is, you should automatically think ‘high calorie.’ Why? Because it’s true. Look on the back of a box of, ummm, a certain low-fat chocolate cookie which has a group of ladies that go around in search of them. It’s got so many calories in there it’s not even funny. Well, it is to those of us who are smart enough not to buy them and just go for something that has a bit more fat in the cookie, and has far fewer calories. Also, go looking around at a certain variety of baked tortilla chips. On the front of the package it touts “LOW FAT……ONLY 1 GRAM OF FAT PER SERVING!” Now, take a look at the nutrition facts on the back of the package (These little boxes full of numbery-fact-goodness are gifts from God, aren’t they?) . In one ‘serving,’ which is about 14 chips, there is only one gram of fat. Of course, there’s 110 calories in that little serving! Egad! Your thighs will be expanding in no time if you wolf those puppies down.
Then there’s the evil, evil word ‘Lite.’ It’s evil because it’s so vague. It may be light, but compared to what? A vat of Crisco? A pound of that yummy tripe I keep referring to? And what is it lite in? Fat? Calories from fat? Calories? The total nutrients combined in one square foot of plastic?
No cholesterol? Ha! If you look at some peanut butter jars containing this label, you'll notice this is true. In fact, they're not even upping the calorie or fat levels to sacrifice the cholesterol. So how do they do it, you ask? Well, there's never been cholesterol in peanut butter! Plant fat doesn't have cholesterol, only animal fat does. And, because peanut butter was made with plants, there never will be cholesterol in peanut butter, and there never should have been! The only way that could've happened is if the manufacturers were putting lard, or maybe tripe, into the peanut butter. Of course, peanut butter has plenty of plant fat in it, so you'll get a lot of fat, but just not any cholesterol.
One thing I'm surprised at is that the soft drink companies haven't started up some big ad cam-'pain' saying that their drinks are all fat free! Hoo boy, shut my mouth and paint me red! A liquid is actually fat free? Of course! All liquids better be fat free! If they're not, you're buying one odd little drink.
Calorie=energy content of food
Pringles commercial-guy wiping grease
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Karl
Becker, the author of all these articles, uses New
Tricks for his writings.
Try it out now! |
